Quick character backgrounds & starting gear

Fed up with the fact that buying gear is a major bottleneck in the otherwise exquisitely streamlined character creation process, I took it upon myself to give my players the option to speed up the process.

Combining backgrounds and starting items is not an original idea but it's perfect for what I'm trying to do so foolish not to. I'm definitely of the camp that a character's background should be largely unimportant (i.e. the interesting events in a character's life is what goes on in the game, not what happened before), but anyone who plays long enough will tell you having some history can enrich a characters and give the players and DM more levers over the course of the game. Broad, non-specific backgrounds are enough to get over the creative hurdle of starting from scratch while still providing enough blank space to fill in as players desire. The format here is largely aped from what Mr. Warren D. put at the bottom of this post here so thanks to him for getting the ball rolling.

Cleric

Hit dice: d6

Start with wooden holy symbol. Abilities: Turn Undead

Saving throws: D11, M12, P14, B16, S15

1. Traveling monk. Leather armor, quarterstaff, sling & pouch w/ 50 bullets, alms bowl, animal friend
2. Fringe heretic. Chain mail, mace, sling & pouch w/ 50 bullets, flagrant apocrypha (as random 3rd-level MU scroll), mark of censure
3. Mystic Initiate. Chain mail, warhammer, esoteric writings, 2 1st-level spell scrolls
4. Pawn of prophecy. Chain mail, shield, mace, revelatory visions (ask dm yes/no question once per session)
5. (L) Fervent zealot. Plate mail, mace, shield, 6 cones of incense, vial of holy water (C) Cult fanatic. Chain mail, battle axe, wavy dagger, ceremonial chalice, vial of unholy water
6. (L) Roving adjudicator. Plate mail, war hammer, adjudicator’s baton (C) Doomsayer. Chain mail, halberd, doleful horn

[Lawful clerics can wear plate armor but must use bludgeoning weapons, but chaos clerics can use bladed weapons at the expense of not being able to wear plate armor. As such, entries 5 and 6 vary depending on the character's alignment.]

FIGHTER

Hit dice: d8

Abilities: Cleave (attack again after felling a foe in melee)

Saving throws: D12, M13, P14, B15, S16

1. Hinterland barbarian. Loincloth, hand axe, dagger, Fury (+1 melee damage when unarmored)
2. Commoner survivor. Leather armor, spear, sling & pouch w/ 50 bullets, tragic backstory
3. Wandering swordsman. Chain mail, 2-handed sword, hand axe, expertise in 2 non-combat-specific skills
4. Renegade headhunter. Chain mail, battle axe, crossbow & case w/ 30 bolts, dagger, 1d8 bloodstained contracts
5. Road warden. Chain mail, mace, crossbow & case w/ 30 bolts, warden badge, riding horse
6. Questing retainer. Plate mail, shield, sword, silver dagger, noble seal

MAGIC-USER

Hit dice: d4

Start with spell book, writing set, and dagger. Abilities: Spell Casting 

Saving throws: D13, M14, P13, B16, S15

1. Witch’s pet. Sewing kit, bag of teeth, distinguishing curse
2. Wasteland weirdo. Knobby staff, unsettling mask, strange fungus
3. Gene freak. Two mutations, random potion
4. Radical occultist. Chalk, 3 candles, 2 oil flasks
5. Mercurial drifter. Pipe & 20 pinches of pipeweed, 12 fireworks, pack ape (2 HD)
6. Scholar savant. Book (answers 2d4 questions on a random subject), 2 1st-level spell scrolls

THIEF

Hit dice: d4

Start with thieves' tools and leather armor. Abilities: Sneak Attack (+4 to hit, x2 damage against unsuspecting targets), Thief Skills (Climb sheer surfaces, find/remove traps, hear noise, hide in shadows, move silently, open locks, pick pockets; each starts at 2-in-12 chance of success. Get 8 points to distribute at first level, 4 every level thereafter—1 point improves success chance of a skill by 1.)

Saving throws: D13, M14, P13, B16, S15

1. Scrappy delinquent. Club, dagger, 1d6 dumb tattoos 
2. Artful dodger. Short sword, dagger, sling & pouch w/ 50 bullets, escape razor concealed in wristband 
3. Rakish smuggler. Sword, short bow & quiver w/ 20 arrows, stolen riding horse 
4. Treasure hunter. Sword, whip, +2 pieces of gear 
5. Tinkerer technician. War hammer, crossbow & case w/ 30 bolts, trap kit 
6. Dashing gambler. Sword, 2 silver daggers, dice and cards, 50% start with an extra 1d6x100 sp, otherwise that much in debt.

Each character starts with a backpack w/ bedroll, flint & steel, 3 iron rations, 3 torches, a sack, and 3d6 sp. Additionally, roll or choose twice on the following list:

1. Crowbar

2. Iron spikes (10) + hammer

3. Lantern

4. Steel mirror

5. 10’ pole

6. 50’ hemp rope

7. Grappling hook

8. Holy water

9. Oil flask 

10. Twine (1000’)

11. Air bladder

12. Small bottle

13. Bag of marbles

14. Pouch of salt, flour, or sand

15. Rags (10)

16. Chalk or charcoal stick

17. Candles (3)

18. Live chicken

19. Pickaxe or shovel

20. Grease or lard (enough to cover 20’x20’ area)

You've heard of the Flail Snail, now get ready for...

 The MORNINGSTAR SCORPION!

HD: 6 AC: 3 Attacks: 4 x Morningstar claw (crush 1d12 or grasp 1d6 + grab), sting (1d4 + poison)  Move: 150' (50') Morale: 10 No. Appearing: 1 Alignment: Chaotic 

Morningstar claw: Each claw has 8 hp (separate from the main hp total) and becomes useless when reduced to 0. The Morningstar Scorpion flees if all claws are destroyed. Grabbed foes are automatically hit by subsequent grasp attacks and the Morningstar Scorpion gets a +2 bonus to sting attacks against them.

Poison: Save or suffer debilitating pain and hallucinations for 1d6 turns, afterward save again or die. 

The thorny protrusions covering the Morningstar Scorpion's chitin impose a -2 penalty to melee attackers unless they are wield a spear or pole arm. The spikes also permeate the ethereal realm, causing snares in the plasmic effluence that disrupt magic. When the Morningstar Scorpion is targeted by a spell, roll 1d6: 1-2 spell fails 3-4 spell targets a random other creature in range 5-6 spell functions as normal. 

The Morningstar Scorpion is immune to poison and fire, but has weak vision in full daylight (-2 to attacks) and may become disoriented by bright lights. 

A morningstar scorpion is as big as a draft horse and usually attacks things on sight. They tend to live in deserts and caves, lying dormant for long periods of time before becoming active in the presence of potential prey. While none have managed to train a morningstar scorpion, hobgoblins have been said to capture and use them as opponents in their nightmarish fighting pits. 

Also available for purchase here and at an oddities shop I visited in Portland OR.