GREENEYED PIG MEN

I'm not an "orc guy" by any means (hobgoblins are more my speed) but for better or worse they're intrinsic to D&D fantasy. Similar to what I wrote about elementals in my last post, orcs are one of those aspects of the game that beg to be reimagined, as evidenced by how many hundreds (of thousands) of words have been devoted to reinterpreting orcs with more nuance to either explain their brutish tendencies or justify why they can be killed without guilt. I've mostly stayed away from this topic and from orcs in general (more for aesthetic reasons than anything else, as I've never settled on a "look" for orcs that feels right) but the other night I passed out reading Planet Algol and dreamed of  Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles softly punching me in the face while psychedelic noise rock played in the background. I woke up and my room was trashed (damn) but I found this post fully written out in a notepad document ANYWAY HERE IT IS

GREENEYED PIG MEN

GREENEYED PIG MEN

# Appearing: 2d6 (dungeon)/1d6x10 (overworld)/30d10 (overworld lairs) 

Armor Class: 7 

Movement: 120'(40') 

Hit Dice: 1 

Attacks: +0 weapon (1d8) 

Alignment: Chaotic 

Morale: 8 (6 without a leader) 

Saving throws: Fighter 1

Lair: 50%

• Greeneyes: Can't see well in full daylight, -1 to hit.
• Death comes cheap: slain allies do not cause a morale check.
• Leaders: Dungeon groups are led by a 2 HD captain (hp 9, Att. +1 1d8). Overworld groups are led by a 4 HD PIG MAN CHIEF (hp 15, Att, +3 1d8+2). Lairs have their own leaders, detailed below.
• War pigs: Fight other tribes on sight. Commands from their leader to stand down are only obeyed 50% of the time.

GREENEYED PIG MEN live to fight. Prolonged bouts of pacifism atrophy their muscles and cause their organs to fail. PIG MEN are practical and don't care for tough decisions; they instinctively seek out leaders who prove their might and ensure they can kill and raze as they please.

Lairs (1d20)

1-6. CAVE COMPLEX	Leader: 1:10 chance per 100 PIG MEN it’s a dragon, otherwise it’s a PIG MAN chief Additional occupants: 10% chance per 50 pig men (checked independently):  1d6 ogres 1d4 trolls 1d4 ettins
7-11. WAR CAMP	Commander (1d8):  1-4. PIG MAN chief  5-6. Chaotic Fighter (7-9 HD) 7-8. Magic-user (11 HD) Additional forces: roll twice +1 additional time for every 50 PIG MEN above 150 1. Team of 1d4 PIG MAN beast tamers w/ trained chimera, hydra, basilisk, or giant scorpion 2. 1d3 tiraphegs 3. 1d10 war-painted dire boars  4. 3d8 0 HD human meatshields 5. 1 hill giant 6. 1d4 trolls 7. 1d6 ogres 8. 1d8 PIG MAN pterodactyl riders
12-14. SKULL FORTRESS	Dark Lord (1d8): 1-2. Chaotic fighter (9 HD) 3-4. Magic-user (8-11 HD) 5-6. Evil High Priest (11 HD)  7-8. Abyssal Demon (Bael’rogh) Additional forces: As War Camp
15-17. MULTI-TIERED PLATFORM VILLAGE complete with robust inter-platform zipline network	Leader: As War Camp  Additional occupants: as Cave Complex
18-20. They’re just piled on top of one another in a GIANT PIT	Leader: PIG MAN chief  Additional occupants: None, but the pit has a 1:10 chance per 100 pig men of being situated at the foot of... (1d12):  1-2. a Dark Lord’s stronghold. 3-4. a dragon’s mountain. 5-6. a recently ransacked human settlement. 7-8. a matronly elder hag’s cottage. 9-10. a giant mind-controlling mushroom. 11. an unspeakably horrifying obsidian effigy. 12. a smoldering crater, radioactive meteorite still glowing.

Convoys

When PIG MEN are encountered in the overworld outside of their lair, there’s a 37% chance they are escorting a wagon train. The train will have 2d4 wagons, and will have 10 PIG MEN guarding each wagon in addition to the number of PIG MEN initially rolled for the encounter. 

Convoy leader (1d6)
1-2. Fighter (7-9 HD)
3-4. Magic-User (7-9 HD)
5. Cleric (7-9 HD)
6. PIG MAN chief or something else

Wagon contents (roll 2d6 for each)
2-4. 1 large, cumbersome statue, tapestry, or other piece of art worth 2d6 x 100 sp
5-6. 2d6 x 100 sp worth of trade goods like spices, furs, rare lumber, etc.
7-8. 2d6 x 100 sp in coins
9. Weapons, armor, and ammunition
10. Materials required to construct a catapult or other siege engine
11. 2d4 potions and 2 scrolls 
12. 1 miscellaneous magic item

What are GREENEYED PIG MEN? (1dwhatever)

1. Vat-spawned soldiers created for a long-forgotten war.

2. The offspring of other pig men breeding with female swine.

3. Men subjected to a curse that befalls those who spill blood on holy ground.

4. No one can say for sure, but it has something to do with fungus.

5. Organisms that spontaneously generate in dungeonous environments.

6. Children of the great demon Idnach, mother of monsters. 

7-100. don’t worry about it.

Sample GREENEYED PIG MAN clans & names

CLANS

1. Razorbacks. Incredibly hairy. Experts at ambushes and guerilla combat. 2. Rotting Sun. Covered in sores and rashes. Accompanied by swarms of biting flies. 3. Thrashbangers. Thick goggles protect their eyes from the sun. Fight with makeshift grenades and explosives. 4. Black Feast. Wear spiked leather harnesses. Eat fallen foes and allies. 5. Toegrinders. Decorate their armor with skulls and bones. Ride into combat on lumbering battlewagons. 6. Greenskins. Rather unremarkable.

NAMES

1. Gurglesnort

2. Master Exploder

3. Trotenheim

4. Excrementus

5. Slugnutz

6. Krunt

7. Rashburn

8. Elfsqueeze

9. Scum Gutter

10. Gruesome

11. Skidmark

12. Oglebog

13. Throckmorton

14. Weasel Piss

15. Dunkhead

16. Jagwort

17. Weenus

18. Gigantic

19. Crusher Prime

20. Bloodgut